[I have hesitated to pull the trigger on this “article,” because of concerns about how it would be interpreted. So to clarify: I am not downplaying the happiness found in life’s blessings. I am not bitter, seeking to rationalizing my own contentment. And I am not seeking to pat myself on the back.]

The Life You Always Wanted

I’m not impressed with the person who has everything and is content. I’m impressed with the person who has nothing and is still content.

You can have everything you’ve ever dreamed of having and still not be content. Jesus offers a contentment and joy that swallows up pain, loss, depression, sickness, and death. Jesus specializes in bringing peace and hope to the unsettled life.

There seems to be a trend of “don’t lose hope” stories, articles, blogs, and posts. For instance, I read one where a girl talked about years of struggling through multiple relationships, doubting that she would ever have the family she always dreamed about. By the end of the article, she shares how now she’s been happily married for years to a wonderful guy, and she has two kids that she thought she would never have. Essentially, she says that her life had finally turned out the way she wanted — and that you shouldn’t give up hope of that happening to you too. These are written with the intent to inspire those whose lives aren’t quite yet where they want them to be.

Here’s the problem. It’s easy to tell others not to lose hope for something that you no longer have to hope for. It’s easy to share how it took years of trying before you were able to have kids; and so those struggling through that shouldn’t lose hope.

I would really love to get to the end of one of these articles and find out that the author’s circumstances were still the same, but that their thinking had changed. That they came to find out that gaining that spouse, or that child, or that job, or achieving that milestone would not fulfill them. That they no longer bought into the lie that a change of circumstances was going to bring joy, peace, and fulfillment. You see, whenever an author tells you not to lose hope in the thing they have already achieved, they are perpetuating this lie. Believing this lie is what leads to hopelessness, because it comes with the implication that contentment is circumstantial, as if it is a thing you can only achieve eventually (and only when the stars align).

These articles and blogs have always been baffling and discouraging to me. At face value, they seem to be trying to instill hope and inspire. But they are emotional bandaids that don’t address the real problem and the real solution. You see, I AM content and have joy and peace. And my contentment has absolutely nothing to do with my hope in a change of circumstances.

I’ve been contemplating these thoughts for a long time. And I wanted to share the truth. That spouse, that child, that job, that house, that trip, that (fill in the blank with your own “hope”) will NOT bring you contentment, joy, peace, or fulfillment. If you don’t have contentment, joy, peace, and fulfillment where you are, you will NOT miraculously gain them when something changes.

Certainly, God has given us the good things of this life to enjoy. And our enjoyment within those things is directly proportional to the measure with which we glorify God in them. But the soundness of a Christian’s mind and heart is not found in transient things and changing circumstances. The Christian mind should have an untouchable sense of contentment, joy, peace, and fulfillment. The Christian heart should have an unshakable nature, because it is anchored in Christ. Because all spiritual blessings are in Christ, my hopes have nothing to do with chance circumstances this side of eternity. Satan wants you to find your fulfillment in temporary things. True contentment and fulfillment can only be found in faithfulness to Christ. True joy and peace are only derivatives of eternal truths and divine promises.

The flesh can never truly be satisfied. But Jesus can bring an infinite overflow of spiritual satisfaction to your soul.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.”(1 Tim. 6:6–8 ESVi)

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”(Phil. 4:11–13 ESVi)

-Cary Gillis D.Min.

October 23, 2020